the following is a true story.
there was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. his mother finally told him that if he didn‘t stop sucking his thumb, he‘d get fat.
two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge. the boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, \"ah, ha! i know what you‘ve been doing!\"
Not a dancer
a lady went to a pet shop to buy a parakeet. she asked the clerk for a bird that could sing. the man sold her a parakeet, and she took it home. there, she examined the bird and found out it had a broken leg. she returned to the store with the bird and told the clerk that the bird had a broken leg. \"lady,\" he answered, \"when you brought the bird, you asked for a singer, not a dancer.\"
France Jokes
q: did you hear about the frenchman who jumped into the river in paris?
a: he was declared to be in seine.
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fred was saying his prayers as his father passed by his bedroom door. \"god bless mommy, and god bless daddy, and please make calais the capital of france.\" \"fred,\" said his father, \"why do you want calais to be the capital of france?\" \"because that‘s what i wrote in my geography test!\"
-------------------------------------------------------------- what is the guillotine? a french chopping centre.
------------------------------------------------------------- which ghost was president of france? charles de ghoul.
--------------------------------------------------------------- first witch: i‘m going to france tomorrow. second witch: are you going by broom? first witch: no, by hoovercraft.
He told me to see you
doctor: and whom did you consult about your illness before you came to me?
patient: only the druggist down at the corner.
doctor: and what sort of ridiculous advice did he gave you? patient: he told me to see you!
Catch a cold
during the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but could not hit his opponent.
\"how am i doing?\" he asked the coach at the end of the round. \"well, if you keep this up,\" replied the coach, \"he might feel the wind and catch a cold.\"
A second language
a cat and her four kittens ran into a large dog. when the kittens cowered, the cat let out a series of loud barks, scaring the dog away.
turning to her kittens, the cat said, \"you see how important it is to know a second language.\"
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