白雪公主英文搞笑话剧
第一场
旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The kind married another queen. The stepmother was very jealous and cruel. She treated Snow White badly.在很久很久以前，有一个皇后，她有一个名叫白雪公主的可爱女儿。在这个孩子出生不久，皇后就去世了。国王娶了另外一个皇后，这个后妈很妒忌别人和残忍。她对待白雪公主的态度非常坏。
公主:(出场,) 唱：【I'm a cute cute girl with a bad bad mom. It's a big big thing if you love me.选自big big world】My horror mother always obliges me, such a beautiful，handsome，humor，smart，lovely，kind princess to do a lot of homework…oh I cannot bear it. So I just make a brilliant decision: running away(离开)
我恐怖的后妈总是逼我这样一个美丽，帅气，幽默，聪明，可爱，善良的公主去做很多的作业……噢，我不能忍受了。所以，我就做了一个很明智的选择：离开这里。
皇后(上场)：I’m the legendary cruel queen , oh，no ，it’sthe legendary beautiful、greedy、bloody queen. If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her. I have a magic mirror. If I want to know something, It will tell me surely. Now, mirror, mirror, come here!我就是传授中残忍的皇后，噢，不，是传说中美丽，贪婪、嗜血的皇后。如果有人比我更美丽，我就会杀了她。我有一个魔镜，如果我想知道一些东邪，它一定会告诉我。现在，魔镜，魔镜，来这里！
魔镜：（跑上来，双手叉腰）Yes, I’m coming. What do you want to know?是的，我来了，你想知道些什么？
皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Tell me the truth, who is the most beautiful woman in the world?咒语，告诉我真相，谁是世界上最美丽的女人？
魔镜： You are really the fairest of all, I think. 皇后，我想你的确是非常漂亮的女人。
皇后：General（举双手）哈哈哈！哈哈哈！I am the most beautiful woman in the world!一般啦，哈哈哈哈哈哈，我是世界上最美丽的女人！
魔镜： But,nevertheless,however,whereas,（边说边退，举手挡住脸）there is a young lady. She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony. She is much more beautiful than you. 可是，可是,，可是，有一个年轻的女士，她就是白雪公主，红得如玫瑰，黑得如乌木。她比你美丽更多倍！
皇后：（抓狂样）：She is much more beautiful than me? Who is she? Tell me quickly!她比我更美丽得多？她是谁？快点告诉我
魔镜：I say again.She is Snow White.我再说一次，她是白雪公主。
皇后：Snow White? No, I’m the most beautiful in the world.……（沉思）（响指）hunter！come here, come here!
白雪公主？不，我是世界上最美丽的人……猎人，来这里，来这里！
猎人： Here！（敬礼 少息立正）我在这里！
皇后：I heard Snow White haddisappearance from my palace .I order you to find her out and kill her.我听说白雪公主从我的地盘消失了，我命令你去把她找出来，然后杀掉她。
猎人：But she is the princess. Even given money, I would not do such immoral things.但是她是公主，
即使给钱，我也不会做这样不道德的事情。
皇后：（抽出钞票，挥着下台）
猎人：（两眼发直，追随钞票）Oh money！！噢，钱啊！！
公主和猎人上场。
第二场
猎人：You must be Snow White.你一定是白雪公主！
公主和猎人追逐半场。Although I don’t have the heart to kill you,but， your mother want me to.(拿刀欲刺状)虽然我没有要杀你的心，但是你妈妈想我这样做。
公主：（双手合于胸前）My dear hunter, I admire you just like the yellow river, never endless. I have eighty-year-old mother up, three-year-old boy down. Please don’t kill me. Give me the life, please!我亲爱的猎人，我对你的敬意有如滔滔江水连绵不绝。我上有老，下有小。请别杀我，给我一条活路吧！
猎人：No way. Give me your life. (举刀刺向公主，忽然，捂住自己的肚子，自语) Maybe I ate too much this morning, Maybe there is something wrong with the rice. (抬头) where is the toilet?不行，把你的生命给我。或许我今天早上吃太多了，或许米饭有点问题。哪里有厕所？
公主：T-o-i-l-e-t-?
猎人：WC.厕所。
公主：W-C-?
猎人：（急）WC！！Are you happy to hear such rude words?厕所啊！你很开心听到这样粗如的单词吗？
公主：I know, I know. Turn left, left and left.我知道，我知道，转左，转左，再转左
第三场
旁白：Princess continued to begin her life of escaping. A week later. In the night which you can’t see your five fingers if you stretch out your hand, there was a small girls running panic in the dark forest公主又继续开始逃亡的生活 。在一个伸手不见五指的夜里，漆黑的森林里有一个小女孩惊慌的跑着。
公主：（上场，跑圈）Help！救命！
旁白：Snow White Looked haggard and weared rags running unceasingly Suddenly,she found a little house.她衣衫褴褛，面色憔悴，不时地回头张望，脚下却不敢停留。忽然间，她发现前面有一座小房子.
（公主伸手求救状，推门）
公主：Eat! Bread should! Apple also！wa kao!Leaves also can’t be left out. 吃的！面包也要！苹果也要！我kao，菜叶子也不放过！！
旁白:The Snow White was sitting on the chair eating crazily.Half an hour later.公主坐在椅子上开吃，半小时过去。
公主：（打嗝）
旁白：After eating and drinking,she felt very weary and wanted to have a rest.So she quikly fell asleep.吃过喝过之后，她觉得非常疲倦，想休息休息，就很快就睡着了……
旁白： When it was dark, the owners of the cottage came back. They were seven dwarfs. They were digging treasure in the mountain. 不久，房子的主人们回来了，他们是七个在山里小矮人.
（小矮人上）
：Turn left（众人随便转）Number off（众人胡报）向左~转！报数！
: oh my god……
：I’m the Happy. I’m the happiest person in the world. 我是快乐的。我是世界上最幸福的人。
：I’m the Sneezy. If I sneeze, the earth will shake. 我是打喷嚏。如果我打喷嚏，地球会动摇。
：Look, the lamp in our house is on! 看，我们房子里有灯亮着！：Who is in it?谁在里面？
：Perhaps it’s the ghost!或许是鬼！
：Let’s go into our cottage silently.让我们一起静静地进去。
：（踢门，看到公主喊）Dinosaur! （拉手，蹭入） 恐龙！
：Dinosaur!beat!恐龙！打！
公主：Don’t beat me in my face! Don’t beat me in my face!别打我脸，别打我脸~~
：（拿灯照公主状）
旁白： When dwarfs was holding the candle and let the light fall on little snow-white. They all
cried out with astonishment. 当小矮人手持蜡烛，并让团小小的雪白的光下降。他们都惊讶地叫了出来。
：Stop（众人后跳一步，公主起，望众人）停！
：Wa!Beaty! What a lovely child! How beautiful! 哇，美女！多么可爱的小孩！多美丽啊！
：Who are you?你是谁？
: Where are you from？你从哪里来？
: Why are you coming here?你为什么要到这里？
公主：Ladies and gentlemen.I am Snow White.I am 16 years old. Now I am on kindergarten and still not married. The truth is that先生们，女士们。我叫白雪公主，今年15岁，上幼稚园，还没有结婚。事情其实这样的……
旁白：Princess told the whole process of the story to the dwarfs. Then the dwarfs began to discuss wether to keep Snow White back. 公主把事情的经过告诉了矮人们此时，七个小矮人讨论是否留下白雪公主
公主：（欲听众人决定，双手放在耳朵处）
：It is a deal!Where there is difficulty,there is help!Even if there doesn’t have any difficulty,we nust make one and go to help!就这么办！有困难要帮，没有困难，制造困难也要帮呀~~~~
: If you do some cooking for us.If you make the beds for us.如果你可以为我们煮饭，为我们铺床。
：If you do some washing, you can stay with us. 如果你可以为我们洗衣服，你就可以留在这里，同我们一起居住。
：But you must be careful.但是你要小心！
：Don’t go out. Don’t let anyone come in. Your stepmother will find you and kill you.不要出去，不要让任何人进来，你的后妈会把你找到然后杀了你。
公主：You are so kind to me!你们对我太好了！
旁白：From then on, Snow White kept the house. When the three dwarfs came back, she had everything prepared. On the other hand, the queen didn’t receive the hunter’s information.She was anxious.从此，白雪公主就住在了小屋里。另一方面，皇后等不到猎人的消息，她很急。
第四场
皇后上场
旁白：The wicked queen took out the mirror。邪恶的王后拿出魔镜。
魔镜上场。
皇后：（蹭魔镜）Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most beautiful in the world?咒语，谁是世界上最美丽的人？
魔镜： You are the most beautiful in the world. But, however, whereas, nevertheless , Snow White is still alive and well.（一边摆手，退，逃）She lives with the seven dwarfs. No one is more beautiful than she.你是世界上最美丽的人，但是，但是，但是，白雪公主还活着，她跟七个小矮人住在一起，没有人比她更美丽。
皇后：（抓头）No! Snow White must die. I had to let her disappear in the world. keep calm, Let me
see!（皇后站起）Ok,I get one！不，白雪公主必须死，我必须让她在世界上消失。保持冷静，让我想想！好，我想到一个办法了！
旁白：The queen made a poisonous apple and dressed herself like an old woman. She came to the cottage. 王后做了有毒的苹果和一个老妇人打扮自己。她来到了山寨。
皇后：Good things to sell. Pretty things to sell. Cheap. Very cheap.有好东西卖，有好东西卖，便宜啊，非常便宜的。
公主：Hi, my good lady. What do you sell?你好，我亲爱的女士，你要卖什么？
皇后：Apples. Very delicious apples! Do you want to have a taste?苹果，很美味的苹果！你想试一下吗？
公主：Do you have anycarrots?你有胡萝卜吗？
皇后：Do you want some apples?你想要一些苹果吗？
公主：Do you have any carrots?你有胡萝卜么？
皇后：（大声）My question is that: Do you have any carrots?Oh,no,no，no， Do you want some apples?我要问的问题是：你有一些胡萝卜吗？噢，不，不，不，是你想要些苹果吗？
公主：Oh，apple……Do you have any carrots?噢，你有些胡萝卜吗？
（皇后逼近公主，把苹果塞在公主嘴里）
公主：（正经状）It is poisonous!（闭眼，倒，坐椅子上） 它是有毒的！
（皇后大笑）哈哈哈！哈哈哈！Now I’m the most beautiful in the world. I have a dream today! I have a dream that one day，I can be the most beautiful woman in the world.现在我是世界上美丽的人，我的梦想实现了，我的梦想有实现的一天，我成为世界上最美丽的人了！
旁白：Sn ow White's death is like a star across the midnight. After so many years whenever I look up to the lonely night sky。When the seven dwarfs came from work. They were greatly surprise to see Snow White dead. 白雪公主的死就像流星划过子夜，多年后每当我仰望寂寞的星空，总会想起这样一句话：“有的人的死重于泰山，而有的人的死则轻于鸿毛，轻于鸿毛……当七个小矮人下班回来，他们非常惊讶的看到白雪公主死了。
旁白： Although Snow White had been dead a long, long time. But she looked as if she was living. She looked as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony. However, one day, a prince came to the seven dwarfs’ house. When he saw Snow White, he fell in love with her.虽然白雪公主死了很长时间，但是她看起来还是活生生的。她看起来白的如雪，红的如玫瑰，黑的如乌木。但是，有一天，一个王子来到了七个小矮人的房子前。当他看见了白雪公主，他就爱上了她
第五场
王子：Please, let me marry Snow White. I love her. I want her to be my wife.请让我娶白雪公主，我爱她，我想她成为我的妻子。
:May I have your name,please?我能知道你的名字吗？
王子: (从兜里掏出一卷卫生纸递给B)
:(看到)I’m very busy for the duels every day——The Texas Cowboy.我每天都很忙——德州牛仔。
:But why should we believe you?但是我们为什么要相信你呢？
王子:I love her. I love this life will not be a second girl.我爱她，我不会再像爱她一样爱第二个女孩。
:But she is dead. While we don’t want to admit that she was dead。但是她已经死了，虽然我们不想承认，但她已经死了
王子:(朝公主深情地看了看，抓住她的手) I would like to become a fairy tale the angel you love, open arms into wings to protect you, you have to believe, believe we will be like a fairy tale, happiness and joy in the end.我要变成童话里你爱的那个天使，展开双手变成翅膀守护你，你要相信，相信我们会像童话故事里，幸福和快乐是结局。
旁白：Snow White came to her life,as was written in the magic book of the wicked queen.But she turned into a tigress.白雪公主苏醒过来了，就像邪恶的皇后的魔法书一样神奇。但是她转变成了一个母老虎的性格。
公主:Oh,who destroyed my dreams!I feel very angry!噢，是谁吵醒了我们美梦！我感到很生气！
王子: Please forgive me, noble princess.It’s me.请饶恕我，高贵的公主，是我。
旁白: princess fanned a slap in the face of the prince .The seven dwarfs ran away.公主给了王子一个耳光，七个小矮人逃走了。
ABCDEFG: Dear Prince, we give you princess.(逃走)亲爱的王子，我把公主让给你！
(白雪公主扯着王子的耳朵离开)
旁白: Later, the prince and Snow White married. But the prince's life is very tragic.最后，王子和公主结婚了，但是王子的生活却格外的凄惨！
谢幕！
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