The personal statement is your opportunity to sell yourself in the application process.
Questions to ask yourself before you write:
What's special, unique, distinctive有特色的, 与众不同的, and/or impressive about you or your life story?
What details of your life (personal or family problems, history, people or events that have shaped you or influenced your goals) might help the committee better understand you or help set you apart from other applicants?
When did you become interested in this field and what have you learned about it (and about yourself) that has further stimulated刺激; 激励your interest and reinforced your conviction that you are well suited to this field? What insights have you gained?
How have you learned about this field—through classes, readings, seminars研讨小组, work or other experiences, or conversations确信, 坚定的信仰with people already in the field?
In your school or personal life, what have you learned (leadership or managerial skills, for example), and how has that work contributed to your growth?
What are your career goals?
Have you had to overcome any unusual obstacles障碍(物), 妨碍or hardships (for example, economic, familial, or physical) in your life?
What personal characteristics (for example. integrity正直; 诚实, 诚恳. compassion怜悯, 同情. persistence坚持不懈;执意;持续;留存) do you possess that would improve your prospects前景; 前途for success in the field or profession? Is there a way to demonstrate说明, 演示OR document that you have these characteristics?
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What skills (for example, leadership, communicative, analytical) do you possess?
Why might you be a stronger candidate 报考者for this school—and more successful and effective in the profession or field than other applicants?
What are the most compelling reasons you can give for the admissions准许进入committee to be interested in you?
General advice Tell a story
Think in terms of showing or demonstrating through concrete确实的, 明确的, 确定的experience. One of the worst things you can do is to bore the admissions committee. If your statement is fresh, lively, and different, you'll be putting yourself ahead of the pack. If you distinguish显扬自己, 使自己扬名yourself through your story, you will make yourself memorable. NOTE: This technique is only used to ‘show’ your attributes or lessons learned. It should be used ONLY once or twice in the Personal Statement. Keep the story short and to the point.
Be specific
Don't, for example, state that you would make an excellent doctor unless you can back it up with specific reasons. Your desire to become a lawyer, engineer, or whatever should be logical, the result of specific experience that is described in your statement. Your application should emerge出现; 显出; 暴露as the logical conclusion to your story.
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Find an angle
If you're like most people, your life story lacks drama, so figuring out a way to make it interesting becomes the big challenge. Finding an angle or a \"hook\" is vital. 极重要的, 必不可少的
Concentrate on your opening paragraph
The lead or opening paragraph is generally the most important. It is here that you grab the reader's attention or lose it. This paragraph becomes the framework for the rest of the statement.
Tell what you know
The middle section of your essay might detail your interest and experience in your particular field, as well as some of your knowledge of the field. Be as specific as you can in relating what you know about the field and use the language professionals use in conveying 表达, 转达this information. Refer to experiences (work, research, etc.), classes, conversations with people in the field, books you've read, competitions you've attended, or any other source of specific information about the career you want and why you're suited to it. Since you will have to select what you include in your statement, the choices you make are often an indication指示, 表示of your judgment.
Do some research, if needed
If a school wants to know why you're applying to it rather than another school, do some research to find out what sets your choice apart from other universities or programmes. If the school setting would provide
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an important geographical or cultural change for you, this might be a factor to mention. Write well and correctly
Be meticulous极仔细的; 一丝不苟的. Type and proofread your essay very carefully. Many admissions officers say that good written skills and command of correct use of language are important to them as they read these statements. Express yourself clearly and concisely简明的. Adhere黏附, 附着to stated word limits.
Avoid clichés
A medical school applicant who writes that he is good at science and wants to help other people is not exactly expressing an original thought. Stay away from often-repeated or tired statements
For additional information and examples, visit the website:
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01/
Statement #1
My interest in science dates back to my years in high school, where I excelled in physics, chemistry, and math. When I was a senior, I took a first-year calculus course at a local college (such an advanced-level class was not available in high school) and earned an A. It seemed only logical that I pursue a career in electrical engineering.
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When I began my undergraduate career, I had the opportunity to be exposed to the full range of engineering courses, all of which tended to reinforce and solidify my intense interest in engineering. I've also had the opportunity to study a number of subjects in the humanities and they have been both enjoyable and enlightening, providing me with a new and different perspective on the world in which we live.
In the realm of engineering, I have developed a special interest in the field of laser technology and have even been taking a graduate course in quantum electronics. Among the 25 or so students in the course, I am the sole undergraduate. Another particular interest of mine is electromagnetics, and last summer, when I was a technical assistant at a world-famous local lab, I learned about its many practical applications, especially in relation to microstrip and antenna design. Management at this lab was sufficiently impressed with my work to ask that I return when I graduate. Of course, my plans following completion of my current studies are to move directly into graduate work toward my master's in science. After I earn my master's degree, I intend to start work on my Ph.D. in electrical engineering. Later I would like to work in the area of research and development for private industry. It is in R & D that I believe I can make the greatest contribution, utilizing my theoretical background and creativity as a scientist. I am highly aware of the superb reputation of your school, and my conversations with several of your alumni have served to deepen my interest in attending. I know that, in addition to your excellent faculty, your computer facilities are among the best in the state. I hope you will give me the privilege of continuing my studies at your fine institution. (Stelzer pp. 38-39) Statement #2
Having majored in literary studies (world literature) as an undergraduate, I would now like to concentrate on English and American literature.
I am especially interested in nineteenth-century literature, women's literature, Anglo-Saxon poetry, and folklore and folk literature. My personal literary projects have involved some combination of these subjects. For the oral section of my comprehensive exams, I specialized in nineteenth century novels by and about women. The relation ship between \"high\" and folk literature became the subject for my honors essay, which examined Toni Morrison's use of classical, biblical, African, and Afro-American folk tradition in her
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novel. I plan to work further on this essay, treating Morrison's other novels and perhaps preparing a paper suitable for publication.
In my studies toward a doctoral degree, I hope to examine more closely the relationship between high and folk literature. My junior year and private studies of Anglo-Saxon language and literature have caused me to consider the question of where the divisions between folklore, folk literature, and high literature lie. Should I attend your school, I would like to resume my studies of Anglo-Saxon poetry, with special attention to its folk elements.
Writing poetry also figures prominently in my academic and professional goals. I have just begun submitting to the smaller journals with some success and am gradually building a working manuscript for a collection. The dominant theme of this collection relies on poems that draw from classical, biblical, and folk traditions, as well as everyday experience, in order to celebrate the process of giving and taking life, whether literal or figurative. My poetry draws from and influences my academic studies. Much of what I read and study finds a place in my creative work as subject. At the same time, I study the art of literature by taking part in the creative process, experimenting with the tools used by other authors in the past.
In terms of a career, I see myself teaching literature, writing criticism, and going into editing or publishing poetry. Doctoral studies would be valuable to me in several ways. First, your teaching assistant ship program would provide me with the practical teaching experience I am eager to acquire. Further, earning a Ph.D. in English and American literature would advance my other two career goals by adding to my skills, both critical and creative, in working with language. Ultimately, however, I see the Ph.D. as an end in itself, as well as a professional stepping stone; I enjoy studying literature for its own sake and would like to continue my studies on the level demanded by the Ph.D. program.
Program: Finance
Through beads of sweat I can finally see the finish line. Propelled forward by my loaded legs, my heart pumping loud inside, along the racing track am I struggling to make a last 6
dashing effort. The 10,000-meter race is exhausting. Other contestants are right behind me; they are looking for chances to overtake me. I cannot afford to let off, not even a slightest bit because I have been preparing for this moment for years. “Beat them! You Must!” a voice deep inside me keeps shouting to me. In a match, there is just one aim—to win and to get the upper hand of your opponents. To do so, it is even necessary to go beyond one‟s ultimate limit. Then the crucial moment comes, the moment of fulfilling one‟s prescribed objective.
I am by no means the smartest student in my class. But my perseverance, my pursuit of excellence, and my readiness to challenge my ultimate limit have enabled me to achieve self-transcendence time and again in my past education. Whether in winning prizes during major academic aptitudes contests through my middle school days or in entering the Mathematics Department of XX University (arguably the best place to study mathematics in China) waived of the otherwise required entrance examinations, I have achieved every success through strong willpower and persistence. I believe that life is a long journey and my present application for XX University, arguably the best university in the world, is my new attempt to scale new heights.
In the summer of 2002, several major universities in China, including XX University and XX University, offered to enroll me free of entrance examinations due to my winning the first prize in the XXX that year. I eventually chose XX University. In its Mathematics Department are gathered the most outstanding talents of the country. In this competitive environment, my aptitudes not only in mathematics but also in physics and computer have improved rapidly. I realized that I had to compete in order to excel.
I achieved all-round academic development at XX University. Apart from receiving effective and systematic training in mathematics, I have had ample opportunities to exchange with the first-rate professors and fellow students. Under the influence of the University‟s overall academic atmosphere, I have attained increasing mental maturity by developing my team spirit, personal responsibility, and other personal qualities. For the first time in my life I gained the understanding that a true elite is born out of a group of elites. Although I do not pretend to be the best student in my department, every major progress that I have achieved in this unique university has repeatedly convinced me that, as long as I persevere academically the way that I persevere athletically, I will ultimately develop myself into a person of outstanding excellence of my generation.
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My choice of switching to an undergraduate program in Finance at XX University originates from my ideal of receiving the world‟s first-rate undergraduate education and of exposing myself to the influence of an elitist academic culture. Just as XX University has attracted to it the best students in China, XX University has attracted to it the best students in the world. I identify myself strongly with your university motto which admonishes your students to be with the greatest masters of the academia and, most importantly, to be with the truth. At such a world prestigious university as XX University, it will be possible for me to listen to the instructions of the world „s best teachers, to exchange with and to compete against the best students in the world. Those two factors will give me lifelong benefits. I believe that only by plunging myself into this highly competitive environment will it be possible for me to bring my important potential into the fullest play, and to further develop my courage to face challenges, enhance my endurance, and improve my analytical thinking.
The motivation behind my decision to specialize in finance lies in my determination to apply my special aptitudes in mathematics to the study of social science. China is currently experiencing an unprecedented economic development in history. As a student that has grown up in pace with China‟s implementation of market economy, I have the strong wish to learn the most advanced knowledge and skills in the world and to contribute my efforts to the further development of China‟s economy.
Like many other elitist students of XX University, I find my middle school education filled with accolades won through hard efforts and toils. From junior middle school to senior middle school (XX Middle School, the key middle school of XX Province), I maintained a top 1% academic performance in my grade (consisting of 400 students) and was given, among various awards, the Outstanding Student honor every year. I received approximately 20 awards in national and provincial contests of mathematics, physics, English and chemistry (please refer to my Resume for more detailed information). Among those awards, some of the most important ones include the first prize in the XX, the gold medal in the “Hope Cup” XX, the third prize in the XX, and the first prize in the XX City‟s XX. I have strong interest and special aptitudes in mathematics and physics. By studying those two subjects, I have not only improved my scholastic level and rigorous logical reasoning but also developed my ability to solve problems independently. Although my future career will not necessarily be in the field of mathematics, I firmly believe that mathematics is the most fundamental science through which human beings gain knowledge about this world. The knowledge and the way of thinking that I have
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developed through my study of mathematics, together with the strong willpower that I have evolved in the process, will be my lifelong assets.
Nevertheless, I have never allowed myself to be a bookworm. Instead, I have always sought for comprehensive personal development in management skills, interpersonal communication, and in athletic contests. During my senior middle school days, I was a student official in the Students Union and was responsible for organizing many important campus events such as the choral festival, cultural festival, debate contests, and exchanges with other schools in the city. I was the editor of the student publication “Footprint”. Although my coursework at XX University is very heavy, I have been working as a key student official of the departmental Students Union. While enriching my extracurricular life, my work at the Students Union has shown me the importance of teamwork and has taught me important skills of sound interpersonal relations. The development of organizational and management skills will also become an important legacy for my future financial study and practice.
For a dedicated runner, he has only one focus — to dash to the finish line ahead of his adversaries. It is a test of his stamina and he must prove his sportsmanship. For me, the sole reason for pursuing a more advanced education is that I have come to the moment of facing a new challenge and I need to conquer it. The height of life is reached through repeated self-transcendences—this is what I understand about the meaning of life. I have done so in the past and I will continue to do so in the future. What I am doing at present is one of those self-transcendences—to apply for admission into a university of true world prestige.
For many years, I have been practicing 10,000-meter long-distance running everyday. In so doing, I have not only developed my strong physique but also won a spate of prizes at sports meetings. The most important thing is that I have improved my character and strengthened my willpower. In every 10,000-meter event, I clench my teeth, try to go beyond my ultimate limit and beat my competitors, until I dash to the finish ahead of others. Each experience is an experience of setting and fulfilling an objective.
First draft-ending
For a brave mountain climber, the sole reason for his mountain climbing is that the high mountain is there and he must surmount it. For me, the sole reason for pursuing a more advanced education is that I have come to the moment of facing a new challenge and I
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need to conquer it. The height of life is reached through repeated self-transcendences—this is what I understand about the meaning of life. I have done so in the past and I will continue to do so in the future. What I am doing at present is one of those self-transcendences—to apply for admission into a university of true world prestige.
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